I will deal with the Black parent here and see what contribution s/he has on his child spiraling out of control; into a bully and one whose reasoning capacity is always obstructed by the confines of culture and traditions.
It is known that many Black people subscribe to the notion that a kid's word can never overruled that of an elder. This is problematic because of the reasons to be discussed here. It is also known that it is these parents, out of love or ignorance, who buy toys and other goodies for their kids.
And it is known that parents watch television with their kids, day or night, but they do. Now an array of problem arise in all these contexts and the parent is assumed to be there, seeing what unfolds before them.
I will start at the beginning. Black parents hate it when their kids argue with them, regardless of how knowledgeable the kids is of the subject in question. A Black parent speaks and expects that we all agree that his/her version of the subject is true and absolute. S/he sends a kid to school and varsity so as to develop their cognitive facilities and reasoning capabilities, and when the kid returns it is joy all over. Until the time when a matter of intricacy must be dealt with, the parent is proud of the kid.
They speak, misinformed and sometimes clueless of the subject, and when the kid they sent to school for such purposes rebukes what is being said on the grounds of its truths and factuality, the kid is dismissed as "youthful and inexperienced". I make an example of a young man who graduated Cum Laude in the fields of Social Work and Social Development whose rural Eastern Cape upbringing had turned him into a man of principle and honour; having observed the traditions and teachings of his fore-bearers.
He returns home from University and finds a dilemma where children are ill-treated, where children are being used as labour at a construction site. He questions this development and is told not to worry about such things as he, himself, had been brought up in that way. He tries to reason to the effect of protecting the child from exploitation but he is told that "the elders" of the village had constituted that it be so. Because he is a man of principle and his village respects him for they way he conducted himself among the elders as he was growing, thus he ceases to question these actions because he wishes not to be perceived as disrespectful to the elders. He does as he is told. The parents' word is final, regardless of the implications it has legally and otherwise.
He keeps quiet and watches as children are enslaved; doing that which ought to have been done by the very parents who constitute "elders" in that village. He ceases to engage with his parents on any matter because they will get angry over "the million questions" and perhaps a physical disciplinary action might be employed against the poor guy. The younger kids observe and learn that when you are a parent your word is final and that no engagement is further necessitated after such violent responses.
Black parents; engage you kids in complicated subject such us community building, they might surprise you.
And then the Black parent goes to town and buys toys for his/her kids. As the parent and the kids stroll in the streets of town, a toy gun is spotted by the kid and is immediately in the list of demands, somewhere below the chocolate bar on the shopping list. Gladly, the parent will purchase this toy because she "wants to give her children all that they want and need". The boy will love the gun so much so that the day of purchase of such a toys will linger for a while in the mind of the kid (and those who will live to the complete manifestation of that kind of playing).
However, the kid will soon realise that this gun is not very effective in "eliminating his nemeses" and he, with friends, will discuss other means of getting the job done. Because they grow so fast, the parent is oblivious to the fact that the toy is no longer interesting for it fails to execute the desired duties. The kids used to certain ideas and if they love them and are not monitored, they take them up as a hobby or way of life, much to the happiness/sadness of the parents.
Kids learn! He will get himself an illegal pistol and the parents will not know until the pistol gets him into trouble. And from there trouble will never stop again. Stop buying toy guns for kids, you are turning them into the criminals that the system has already painted them into being. Stop beating your kids up because they disagree with whatever it is that you are saying: Nobody can be right at all times and kids have learnt the science of reasoning because you sent them to school precisely for that reason. Change your parenting methods from those of your grandparents because the times and systems no longer accommodate for such.
Love your kids and burn anyone who throws a kid in the dustbin and burn them that commit murder by way of abortion, especially if you asked for that pregnancy. And by "ask" I mean voluntarily going and sleeping with men in the absence of protective measures.
I am not well-verse in parenting as I am only a nine-month old parent but, this, I have observed and I have testament to this effect. Love your babies, people, and teach them good from evil, their future depends on it.
Let's chat if unesbindi
No comments:
Post a Comment